Your
Safety
Plan

Helping you protect yourself
and your children.

A personal safety plan is a way of helping you to protect yourself and your children. It helps you plan in advance for the possibility of future violence and abuse. It also helps you to think about how you can increase your safety either within the relationship, or if you decide to leave.

You can’t stop your partner’s violence and abuse – only he can do that. But there are things you can do to increase your own and your children’s safety. You’re probably already doing some things to protect yourself and your children – for example, there may be a pattern to the violence which may enable you to plan ahead to increase your safety.

  • Plan in advance how you might respond in different situations, including crisis situations.
  • Think about the different options that may be available to you.
  • Keep with you any important and emergency telephone numbers for example, the police domestic violence unit; your GP; your social worker, if you have one; your children’s school; your solicitor; and the Freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge: 0808 200 247
  • Teach your children to call 999 in an emergency, and what that would need to say (for example their full name, address and telephone number).
  • Create code words or a phrase for friends and children so that know when to call for help and/or leave danger areas.
  • Are there neighbours you can trust, and where you could go in an emergency? If so, tell them what is going on, and ask them to call the police if they hear sounds of a violent attack.
  • Rehearse an escape plan, so in an emergency you and the children can get away safely.
  • Pack an emergency bag for yourself and your children, and hide it somewhere safe (for example at a neighbour’s or friend’s house). Try to avoid mutual friends or family. See the suggestions below on what to pack if you are planning to leave your partner.
  • Try to keep a small amount of money on you at all times – including change for the phone and bus fares.
  • Know where the nearest phone is, and if you have a mobile phone, try to keep it with you.
  • If you suspect that your partner is about to attack you, try to get to a lower risk area of the house – for example where there is a way out and a telephone. Avoid the kitchen or the garage where there are likely to be knives or other weapons; and avoid rooms where you might be trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
  • Be prepared to leave the house in an emergency.

You have the strength.

Planning to Leave

If you have decided to leave your abuser, it would be very useful for you access specialist support. Springfield can help you and your children to stay safe. We won’t tell you what to do, but we can support you to understand your options and make a plan.

Domestic abuse specialists can support you through your experience. We can assist in the planning stages of leaving a relationship and ensure they are personalised to your circumstances, signpost to agencies and resources that can help you become safer.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be dangerous, as your partner may feel like he has lost control of you – and his behaviour may escalate to regain control. It is very important that he doesn’t find out you are considering leaving.

Make sure you plan your departure and get in touch if you need support to do so more safely. Springfield are available to support you to develop a safe exit, and can refer you to Victim Support locally if you have additional support needs, or are especially high risk

If you want to plan to leave without professional support, consider your partners’ routines and choose a safe time to leave the home. Consider where he will be, and plan a safe route – for example, you might want to avoid using a local taxi service in a small town, in case the driver tells your partner where you have gone. Arranging a place to stay, this might be the home of a trusted friend or family member, but make sure your abuser doesn’t know the location. Or you might need to go into a refuge. Consider ways he might track you: It is important to think about all the ways your partner might be able to find out where you are. Eg access to your phone messages or bills/ social media/Access to emails/ joint bank account logs, or internet history. You should also turn off any geo-location settings on your phone, other devices and car.

Housing Support options;
Your local Housing Options Team have a duty to provide temporary emergency housing for those affected by Domestic Abuse. At this stage you will need to contemplate where it would be safer for you to live and whether it may be best to move a safe distance away.

Additionally the 24 hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline, is always available to talk through your options, on 0808 2000 247. A Helpline worker will be able to help you find a place in a refuge. A refuge is a safe house for women and children escaping domestic violence where they can also access confidential emotional and practical support from staff who understand what they have been through.

What To Pack When Your Leaving Your Partner

If you decide to leave, items below will be very useful for you moving forward with your life.

Only do this if you are sure it is safe to do so.

Creating an emergency bag for you and your children: If it is safe to do so without your abuser noticing, (this could be kept with a trusted friend or family member)

Contents you may find useful moving forward include;

  • Important documents (including birth certificates, marriage certificates, tenancy/mortgage documents, ID documents, National Insurance Number, driving licence), Bank account details, benefits and Universal Credit log in details
  • a set of keys (house and car)
  • money
  • phone numbers (emergency and personal)
  • a charged secure phone and charger
    medicines
  • clothes/ toiletries
  • Proof of the abuse (e.g. notes, photos, crime reference numbers, diary, taped messages, emails, texts) (Hestia Bright Sky App, is designed to offer support and a journaling facility to anyone affected by Domestic abuse)

If you are leaving and taking your children and there is a residency or parental order in place, consult a solicitor before leaving, or as soon as possible afterwards. Leave a note saying that you have left with the children, that they are safe, and that the solicitor will contact the non-resident parent in the near future. Keep a copy of the note to ensure the children can’t be reported as abducted.

If you become unsafe or in an emergency situation, call 999.

Protecting Yourself After You Have Left

After you leave an abuser, you’ll want to take safety precautions to keep yourself and your family safe. This could include;

  • considering an order of protection (criminal or civil injunctions) look up flows.org.uk, (finding legal options for women, Tel 0203 745 7707) to offer free legal advice and support, 9-5 Mon-Fri. If you need an emergency Non Molestation Order, these can be granted within hours, but seek legal advice quickly as there is time restriction, which needs applying for within days of an incident. (FLOWS.org or NCDV can offer advice in relation to legal injunctions)
  • alerting your place of work
  • alerting your child’s school to what’s happened, and explaining child care arrangements.
  • Using a different route to get to and from school/ work, changing your schedule
  • Take a break from social media- as the abuser is less likely to stalk and harass you.
  • Change your phone number and make it unlisted
  • Keep a log of any unwanted abuse, with details of time/date/ who you’ve reported it to. (Hestia Bright Sky App, is designed to offer support and a journaling facility to anyone affected by Domestic abuse)
  • Report all unwanted contact to the police, on 101, or 999 in an emergency.

If you are considering applying for a criminal or civil injunction, you will need to supply the police, or solicitors with evidence of the abuse. It can be useful to already have a journal or log of incidents, such as date/time/details. Include threats, copies of email/text/ police reports/ hospital records.

If You Stay Or Return To Your Home

It can often be almost impossible to leave friends, family, schools and jobs. There are steps you can take if you choose to remain in the family home to increase your safety, and the safety of your children in this situation – for example, sometimes it’s possible to get a criminal/civil injunction that specifies the perpetrator keeps away, or who can live in your home. Your rights to remain in the home can be dependent on who owns the house, has the tenancy or whether there are children involved.

It is advisable to seek housing advice regarding your rights from your housing provider or solicitor where possible prior to making changes.

Rights of Women has a very useful guide on housing and domestic violence.

Once you have returned to the property, or removed the perpetrator consider adding home security measures, such as changing the locks, window locks, CCTV, Camera doorbells, alerting neighbours for support, having trusted friends stay over, and asking for police support if you feel vulnerable.

  • considering an order of protection (criminal or civil injunctions) look up flows.org.uk, (finding legal options for women, Tel 0203 745 7707) to offer free legal advice and support, 9-5 Mon-Fri.
  • alerting your place of work
  • alerting your child’s school to what’s happened, and explaining child care arrangements.
  • Using a different route to get to and from school/ work, changing your schedule
  • Take a break from social media- as the abuser is less likely to stalk and harass you.
  • Change your phone number and make it unlisted
  • Keep a log of any unwanted abuse, with details of time/date/ who you’ve reported it to. (Hestia Bright Sky App, is designed to offer support and a journaling facility to anyone affected by Domestic abuse)
  • Report all unwanted contact to the police, on 101, or 999 in an emergency.